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My Last Thesis Journal

Le Mage Journal

2001-03-26 - 09:23 p.m.

From a geeks guide to good sex:

"You will also occasionally run into special situations in which her particular needs are so pressing that your own gratification runs a very distant second to

satisfying her. The most common of these is virginity. If the woman tells you she is a virgin, or you discover it, feel extremely honored that she has trusted you to help her have a good first experience. A woman's first time

is more difficult than a man's and may involve minor pain and bleeding. Accordingly, you need to be extra gentle and extra careful that

she is extremely aroused before penetration, so that any discomfort will quickly be washed away by pleasure. The post-coital cuddle is especially important with a virgin; you could literally shape her attitude towards men and sex for the rest of her life with that few minutes of kindness."


My attitudes for life have definetly been shaped. Positivly. I could make some sickening and adoring comments on it but i shan't beyond these:

bryan is, to my way of thinking, a ideal lover.

I have a goodly amount of trust in him as well as a high degree of affection for him, combined with a strong desire to make him happy. Please him. etc.

My education i realize has not been fulfilled but just begun. There is so much to try and learn that i will be learning for the rest of my life i think.

I am greatful to be with bryan right now- definite feelings of insufficiency right now but as i said a strong desire to try and do well. Basically its the whole i'm still trying to impress him so he'll keep me around. Becuase the big secret

the one he doesnt know yet

is that he really is such a individual and wonderful person. and i am not refering to any sexual thing right now i mean who he is.

how he smells and tastes and thinks and talks and how he likes his back scratched and the way he drinks water

and the music he listens to and the ways he touches me and the ways i can touch him and everything from his hair to his feet.

plus the way his cats are. you can tell they were raised right, well cared for, sane POI has her own issues but whatever..

the way he looks when he cooks. the way he teaches me stuff he likes so i'll like it too. His family.

his siters and the way he wants me to meet more of his relatives. the way he laughs. the reasons he laughs. the way he goes from the orge viking sexual being to geek mode just by getting dressed.

all the reasons he claims to do things. and the way he lets me have space or be enclosed by him when i need to. the way he understandsall the weird shit i am- like re: the "L-word" and such.

all the ways he is so givign and kind and making it DAMN hard for for me to give to him. i want to. i want to please him whether it be via massage, emotional support, praise or just being here.

so thats the limit of mushiness i'll allow myself for a very long time.

but i had to say it. in case he didnt know. but i kinda think he did. :)

-bsg-

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