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2001-04-27 - 2:12 p.m. Diane's grandmother died this morning- I'm so sorry, I was praying in my own way that it wouldnt happen. well i figured out what might have happened regarding my cracker barrel fiasco last summer. ryan kennedy. cracker barrel won't hire anyone of questionable sexuality and he was homophobic in high school to Paul and I, and then the whole Puck debacle- so then last summer he started working there, got in witht he managers and laid that information down and all of the sudden i got the cold shoulder and was railroaded out of a job. makes sense. scary. else? i'v been kinda moody/iffy/off all week- since sunday night at least. I wish to apologize. What happens, happens. Do the next thing. I trust bryan. and i don't want to fuck it up because I am a disturbed individual. (or just have a tiny inferiority complex) because i really don't. as much pain and shit as i got this year from some nameless individual, and from friends, and just everyone I never stopped knowng thart I could go out anyday and be ok without the world here. It's changeing now as I become attatched to Bryan and my instinct is to run away or cause a ruckus so he'll go away but I don't think I'll let myself. Supress! :) this is very mixed up and all but the main thing is i feel good, calm, self-assured and i wanted to share. the end. -bsg- prior mistakes future mistakes
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