2001-05-31 - 11:15 a.m.

yee gods i am twenty!

20. not a teenager!

i should probably stop watching the disney channel.

but i like that about myself- the mix of maturity and immaturity. because i can do the adult thing- be responsible- but i can play too. :)

I am at the library right now, the cleaners have taken over my house.

i seem to see myself in bryans bed tonight, which i am rather pleased about- but i really was disconcerted by the way this came about. i like katie alot but she is so her own person. she uses the word want in simple sentances. which i have trouble doing.

but ellie stilll likes me and her routine with me more then any other option we've seen eyt which is reassuring. i suppose it IS selfish but i have put time and energy and affection into her, taking her out to graze, giving her treats and such, and i like that she likes me.

its the same selfish thing where i like how harvey will trot around after me in a field. i suppose its even the same way i am about Poi. I understand this and i try really hard not to be that way. but i cant help how gooooood it feels when some one or some animal likes me best or does something special for me. maybe like the blowjob thing with guys. i really am not centered around this however its something worth recognizing in myself.

oh i adore my new AIM profile- good quotes and stuff. :)

mini golf and double date tonight-

bryan tonight-

bryan tonight-

heheh i was about to say some thing about warm body to play with but i wouldnt want to give him the impression i like him for his body alone. :P

its attacthed to such a wondrous person!

ok i am rambling and gushing now.

but i feel all sorts of right with the world.

-bsg-

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