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My Last Thesis Journal

Le Mage Journal

2001-06-29 - 1:20 p.m.

right now i am feeling ditraught. soemthing just set me off but i dont know what. I'd like t ogo back and erase every senimenal word and mushy expression form the past monthds of entries but i cant. its like i just noticed how exposed i rally am- like i just walked out oto a cliff edge without noticing and now i ahe vertigo.

stripped of clothes one by one till i just noticed i am naked and cold and alone.

it was a comboination of perceptions i think- somehting about me wanting to not give myself away and i dont know

its maybe a touch of paranoia.

tis what comesa when you live in nowhere nj for the summer alone except for the grace of one- and one person is not a world. can not be should not be and

i just feel alone and exposed right now. like the world knows too much about my side and not enough about anyone else ebcuase i update multiple times a day as stuff hits me but the wordld has always been so much slower then i

i'm scared.

-bsg-

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