2002-02-22 - 1:41 p.m.

I should be doing work for one of my two exams or papers due next week. Instead I am unprecedentedly uninspired.

Some man, was hung by the neck until he was dead in the woods nearby. Like within a 3 minute walk nearby.

I know a tiny bit about a lot of things and I would like to mention that hanging by the neck until dead is bad. Maybe you'll get lucky and break your neck. Otherwise who ever finds you ( because you are selfish and you do this in a on barely secluded place near lots of impressionable freshmen ) whoever finds you when you don't break your neck gets to see your shit-stained paints, your eyes wide open almost bursting from pressure, possibly even bloody claw marks on your own neck and face as you try and grasp for air in the last seconds of regret.

Unless someone else did this to you. Which is possible but infinetly worse.

To choose to kill yourself is a right I believe. Doing it stupidly so they all have to see you is selfish. But murder,

painful deliberate murder

you can't spur of the moment hang someone. Who has that much heavy rope lying around? plus it would take two or three people to overpower and tie the victim.

(why am I inspired to write about this but none of my papers?)

I believe in due process.

I believe in trials.

I do not believe in vigilante justice or posse's.

Tell me this man raped women, tell me he abused children and animals, tell me cheated off my paper and didn't get caught.

Then I am sorry he didin't get to see his society at large reject his right to life.

But what if he was just sad?

His last day was the most record-breakingly beautiful day. It was warm, and soft breezey. Sunny and sweet like pretty girls.

Why there?

There are so many trees to choose from. What did he want his last sight to be of?

Do you all remeber yesterday? Last night?

It was his last. Is it better to die, to kill yourself at the end of the most perfect day in february ever, or on the day that most fits your mood?

Maybe he was cal and filled with beauty and too overwhelmed to go on. That I could understand.

When you're tired and everything is so big and wonderful and complex, you just want to lie down.the world is amazing. It keeps going.

Actually if you postulate for me simply that the world IS, I can prove anything. The most unlikely thing is this, that we exist at all, and because we do we, the earth, something will keep enduring.

I need to leave for class now.

I hope no was disturbed too much by the begining, I hope no one was totoally unmoved by the end.

-bsg-

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