2003-01-16 - 1:16 p.m.

When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities."

Matt Groening.

"It's so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."

Joan Rivers

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?

- Linda Ellerbee

"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."

- Dave Edison

"I have six locks on my door all in a row.� When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three."

- Elayne Boosler

Hee.

-bsg-

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