2003-11-14 - 4:21 p.m.

It's funny really. I was reading all my diary entries from when I broke up with Mark ( yeah the way back when) to when Bryan and I officially started dating with the Cladaugh rings. Which I then promtly lost.

But goodness. I guess it's still about the rings a little bit.

We've come so far and it's really always been ok. It's always been comfortable and fun and we've been suyrprised the whole time how easy it was. I guess that was my biggest smack upside the head- how easy it was to love him, to be around him. It was never about being someone else. Or wanting him to be otherwise. We fit together into each others lives and phsycially very easily.

And yes, it is worth it to work for the good things in life, but when it's easy- sometimes the world gives you a break. And I needed one because when I met him I was fucked up 6 eays from Sunday with all different types of relationships. It was so damn hard for me to get what I needed. To give what I wanted to.

I oculdnt be in a relguar relationship, I couldn;t be friends with benfeits, I need stability and everything but at the same I was scared of it.

And he was easy. My own personal ray of sunshine. He'll deny it if you ask but he is such a sweetheart.

He is able to see right through most of my moods when even I don't knwo why I;m upset he does. He is patient with me- infinetly patient in all different and important ways.

And he is one of my rocks. I have three or four rocks in my life- things I trust not to go away, or hurt me. I can't imagine who I owuld be without him, where I owuld be. I would be a lonlier, sadder person by far.

I;ll admit I do like his looks too. His hair hints at it- its wild and he keeps it all hidden most of the time and then when he;s up there I can't help but touch it and hold it for him and so on.

His hands are always soft enough and strong enough, and he has the prettiest lips. Take a look.

He has good strong straight (mostly) teeth and a great smile. When he laughs he laughs and when he giggles you have to laugh too.

He makes the greatest faces and when he dances he is magic. It's like there's this magentic field around him when you get close enough you get attatched to him and his grace surrounds you too.

Yeah. Something like that.

-bsg-

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